I suck at life, but I make a damn good martini.

spoopyshivers:

spoopyshivers:

why do old people read the bible so much

i asked the old guy standing in front of me at the post office and he said “it’s because we’re cramming for finals”

(Source: silentshivers, via annafofannabanana)

Notes
341365
Posted
3 days ago

kung-fwoo:

Funniest pokemon fusions ever

Notes
125
Posted
3 days ago

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via balgruufthegreater)

Notes
251951
Posted
3 days ago
I can’t sleep. I have work in the morning. This is my 200th post. Why is this happening?

I can’t sleep. I have work in the morning. This is my 200th post. Why is this happening?

Notes
1
Posted
1 week ago
sublimesublemon:

sevvey6:

darklyspectre:

sucysucyfivedolla:

YES i’m a grill and YES i play games 

Wow another one of those “gamer grills”. they are just doing it for the attention. the nintendo isn’t even turned on.

neither is the grill

maybe not but i am

sublimesublemon:

sevvey6:

darklyspectre:

sucysucyfivedolla:

YES i’m a grill and YES i play games 

Wow another one of those “gamer grills”. they are just doing it for the attention. the nintendo isn’t even turned on.

neither is the grill

maybe not but i am

(via balgruufthegreater)

Notes
71382
Posted
1 week ago

shaiger:

everyone else gets like those super cool Charizard x Machamp pokefusions and what do i get?…

DORB

(via poke-problems)

Notes
48991
Posted
1 week ago

unimpressedcats:

yellowcrayonwillow:

Hi please watch this poor mailman get attacked by a cat it’s v. important

ladymeowington
Notes
29917
Posted
1 week ago
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